Crack yourself up###

   - It’s an evening. Near a cemetery a man came up with a woman. She asked,
"Excuse me, may I walk with you because I’m afraid?"
"Sure, lady!"
"Thank you! It’s very kind of you! Aren’t you afraid at least a little?"
"Not anymore. Well,... while I was alive…"

   - The executioner raises the axe over his head and says to the convict:
"Hey gay, whistle to direct me because I forgot my glasses today."

-

    An announcement about a found dog reads:
"Yesterday in the Central Park a dog was found. Its breed is Cocker-Spaniel, with brown fur. It responds to the name Rex,… it tastes…. like chicken."