drums rolling....Here comes The Laziest Man on Earth

Bill Gibbs has been labeled as 'the laziest man on earth' by his friends and family. "He's just so lazy, he won't do anything. The only thing he seems to have enough energy to do is to go to the bathroom, sometimes. He keeps everything right next to the couch, so that he can sit on his butt and hardly have to get up for anything.", said his sister Charlene. "ohhhh, I'm just so tired...", said Bill, exhaustively. "...just got done going out to get the mail...uunnhh, unnhh, whew! Out of breathe now. ...have to walk all the way across the front yard. whew....I'm gonna have to move that mailbox closer to the house, that's all there is to it. I just can't deal with all this walking.", said Bill. When we asked Bill what his occupation was, he replied "...worked at a pickle plant, but I got a doctor's note for like...the rest of my life. So I don't work now. Doctor said it might be too much stress on me anyway. ...too damned tired for that.", said Bill. We noted that Bill's front yard looked like it hadn't been mowed at all this year, so we asked him who cuts his front yard and he replied "I'll get to it....one of these months..I might even wait until next summer...the hell with it". We asked Bill how he cooks, and he told us that he keeps a small refrigerator next to the couch, and a microwave also, so that he can just heat things up while he sits on the couch in front of the TV. "..and that grocery shopping is a damned workout, let me tell ya...", Bill exclaimed. When we asked Bill about how he does his laundry, he started grunting. "unnnhhh! unnhh! ohhh, you gotta stop asking so many questions...I'm getting tired..", he announced, as he was getting irritated and exhausted....