U got to laugh at this.
-A man was walking in Belfast. Suddenly, somebody put a gun against his back. A question followed:
"What are you – a Protestant or a Catholic?"
The man thought, "If I say a Catholic, he might be a Protestant and might shoot me, but if I say a Protestant, he might be a Catholic and might shoot me again." The man decided and said,
"I’m a Jew."
A joyful cry was heard from behind,
"I'm the luckiest Palestinian in this city!"
"What are you – a Protestant or a Catholic?"
The man thought, "If I say a Catholic, he might be a Protestant and might shoot me, but if I say a Protestant, he might be a Catholic and might shoot me again." The man decided and said,
"I’m a Jew."
A joyful cry was heard from behind,
"I'm the luckiest Palestinian in this city!"
-Mom, I have a geography test tomorrow!”
“Don’t be afraid my son. Do you want to practise now?”
“Yes. I want.”
“Well. What is the capital of Germany?”
“Berlin.”
“Well done! And what is the capital of France?”
“Berlin. Ask me something more complicated!”
“The capital of Poland?”
“Berlin.”
“You so smart,… Adolf!”
“Don’t be afraid my son. Do you want to practise now?”
“Yes. I want.”
“Well. What is the capital of Germany?”
“Berlin.”
“Well done! And what is the capital of France?”
“Berlin. Ask me something more complicated!”
“The capital of Poland?”
“Berlin.”
“You so smart,… Adolf!”
-
-The police arrested a foreigner for the robbery of a jewelry store. A policeman inquired him but he could not understand anything, so they called an interpreter. The policeman said to him,
"We know you robbed the store. Tell us where the jewelry is!"
The interpreter translated, and the prisoner answered,
"I haven’t robbed the store."
The interpreter translated. Then the policeman took out his gun, put it into the prisoner’s face and yelled,
"Tell us where the jewelry is or else I’ll blow up your skull!"
The interpreter translated and the prisoner immediately said,
"I hid it in the park, it is buried under the roots of the largest pine-tree."
The interpreter translated,
"Shoot me! I'll not tell you anything, morons!"
"We know you robbed the store. Tell us where the jewelry is!"
The interpreter translated, and the prisoner answered,
"I haven’t robbed the store."
The interpreter translated. Then the policeman took out his gun, put it into the prisoner’s face and yelled,
"Tell us where the jewelry is or else I’ll blow up your skull!"
The interpreter translated and the prisoner immediately said,
"I hid it in the park, it is buried under the roots of the largest pine-tree."
The interpreter translated,
"Shoot me! I'll not tell you anything, morons!"
-
A lawyer said to his client who was accused of a murder,
"I have two pieces of news for you – a good one and a bad one."
"Go with the bad one first."
"Your blood test is ready. Your blood coincides with the blood sample found in the crime scene."
"Then, what about the good news?"
"Your blood sugar level is good."
"I have two pieces of news for you – a good one and a bad one."
"Go with the bad one first."
"Your blood test is ready. Your blood coincides with the blood sample found in the crime scene."
"Then, what about the good news?"
"Your blood sugar level is good."
Father tick was teaching his son how to feed on blood,
"You must drink blood from several people, until you're full."
The son asked,
"Why from several people? Can’t I drink just from one person, but more
blood?"
The father,
"No! You're a tick, not a lawyer."
"You must drink blood from several people, until you're full."
The son asked,
"Why from several people? Can’t I drink just from one person, but more
blood?"
The father,
"No! You're a tick, not a lawyer."
“Mr. lawyer, my neighbor insulted me.”
“What he said?”
“He said I’m going to hell.”
“And what did you do?”
“I came to you.”
“What he said?”
“He said I’m going to hell.”
“And what did you do?”
“I came to you.”
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