Beef or Greens?

A local man says he is haunted by the ghost of a cow. Ned O'Neil says he has even seen the cow ghost with his very own eyes. "Well, I know I've been eating alot of beef lately, but this is ridiculous. I mean, what kind of beef have I been eating here...", said Ned. Ned says he hears a cowbell at the dinner table when he eats beef, and hears a ghostly 'mooooooo' sound at night that keeps him awake whenever he's been eating beef. "I tried cutting out all beef for a week and the hauntings stopped, but when I went back to eating beef, this cow came back even worse. The night I started eating beef for dinner again, I sat down at the table with my plate of roast beef and mashed potatoes and I felt something breathing on my neck and I turned around and there it was! It was a great big, full-fledged apparition of a cow, and it went

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" with a loud, bellowing sound. The cow was ghostly white and was larger than life, I was horrified. I jumped up and shouted "HOLY COW!", I couldnt believe my eyes! It was giving me a look like I'd never seen before, a look that told me it was out for revenge, it was snarling at me!" Ned said that the night after that incident, he felt something bite his arm while he was eating a cheeseburger and he jumped around and exclaimed "ow now brown cow!" Breaking Headlinez reporters asked Ned if he'd thought of a solution and he replied "I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian."